I’d Rather Have Coal

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Who needs Santa when you have Grandma! That itchy crochet sweater with the reindeers on it which are frequently mistaken for cats will never go out of style. I mean, it will never go in style. Personally, since I’ve sadly outgrown, Toys R Us I have found that giving and receiving gifts has become such a difficult task. Becoming a college student has its perks, but Santa did a much better job giving gifts then Mom, Dad and Uncle Anthony.  I thought it can’t only be me who receives gifts that should actually be filmed and sent to America’s funniest home videos. So this holiday season, I’ve made it my mission to find and interview other college students and see what their worst gifts were. Based off of my personal recordings, here are the 5 worst holiday presents this season:

#5: Poncho

“Every year my dad gets me the same Juicy Couture sweat suit in a different color; which was cool about five years ago when he first got it. Since my reaction was well the first time, he thought he hit the jackpot of all gifts. Each year I’ve grown a significant amount yet the size of the sweat suit stays the same. Last year, after not being able to fit one arm into the jacket, I kindly showed him that it was too small. This year, I opened up the box which was the same sweat pants, and then underneath it I pulled out a matching Poncho.” -Jennifer Calagna, Nassau Community College

#4: Puzzle

“I’ve always complained to my parents that life in the dorms gets pretty boring. If there isn’t a party and you have no work to do, you are really limited. Since, I go to school upstate NY, and I have my car at home in NY…I really just wanted them to let me bring it to school. They told me I was really going to like the gift they got me this year dealing with a car. So of course, I assumed I was getting a new car. I opened up a 200 piece Lamborghini puzzle.” -Jessica Solomon, Oneonta

#3: Star Wars T-Shirt

“My dad is one of the funniest men in the world. The holidays are a time to be happy and get a good laugh, so I always expect a joke from him. This year, I opened up a Star Wars tee-shirt that had, ‘Who’s Your Daddy?’ written across the top.”  -Jake Greenberg, Baruch

#2: Temporary Tattoo Kit

“For years now I’ve been contemplating getting a tattoo. My mother had always been against them when I was younger, but I figured it was worth a shot. This year, I asked her for a tattoo and she said yes after a well fought argument. On Christmas morning, I opened up a 6 years old plus girl tattoo kit. You know the ones you have to peel off and stick on with water? It was filled with butterflies, hearts, and fairies.. I no longer want a tattoo.” -Brandon Hannan, Hofstra

#1: What To Expect When You’re Expecting Book + Baby Doll

My parents truly out did themselves this year. With the increasing amount of unplanned teenage pregnancies each year, my parents got me this little package to raise awareness. Not only am I NOT expecting any time soon, they decided to wait to give me this gift until my boyfriend was present. Embarrassing? Yeah, I know. It gets worse. The second part to this gift was a little baby doll that has all the functions of a real baby. Luckily, my younger sister opened the gift thinking it was from Santa and fell in-love with it.

 

When you receive presents like this there is only one thing to do: smile.

Coal never looked so good.

 

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